Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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