Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
