All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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