Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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