come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
