some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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