To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
