i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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