Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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