I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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