Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
