they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
