I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just want to make out with him forever
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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