He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
