end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
