My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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