I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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