That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
