You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
