id be glad to
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
