I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
