I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
