Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
