i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
