Pappa wants mamma naked
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
