so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
