Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
