Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
