The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
