Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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