If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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