you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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