Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
