Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
