five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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