He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
