I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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