stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just google imaged poop.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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