i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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