I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Actions speak louder than pants.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
