That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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