I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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