I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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