What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
