we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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