Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize