Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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