i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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