Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
