They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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