omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
