carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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