This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize