I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he shaved USA in his pubs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
