yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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