IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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