its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
