There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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