There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
