Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
