Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
